What is it we want on Valentine's Day?

My husband is not a big fan of Valentine’s Day. I give him this one, since he does romantic things throughout the year, not reserving his attention to this manufactured and over-commercialized tradition. And he’s right about the fact that restaurants tend to perform at their worst, and most expensive, on this treacly holiday.

And yet, don’t we all get that tug of the rom-com, the fantasy of fuzzy, love-drenched scenes, filled with poetry and rose petals? Before you gag at not only the unrealistic gestures but the fakery, let’s think about just what elements of those tear-jerkers rev up our hormones.

We just want someone to pay attention, to listen, to know what it is that makes us smile or hug back. To recognize that what we have is out of the ordinary, special, worth fighting for. For those of us who have lived through divorce, we know that even good relationships go bad, even if they had high-priced dinners and flowers along the way, so we fondly treasure the newly found.

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The light-up valentine that he hangs on the front of our house speaks volumes (and the fact that he made his parents their own version speaks of love of another kind). There are a million little things that he does every day, every week, that demonstrate more than chocolates picked up at the drugstore. Your triggers may be your partner’s attention to chores, or supporting your business, or picking up your favorite foods without being asked.

So instead of an overblown and stress-filled outing, we’ll make a lovely dinner, watch sports in front of the fire, and revel in what we’ve got. But I still want a card…a hand-written note would be even better!

SHARE your little moments…

Kathy H. Ely Konenkii Ambassador Writer, Editor, Wife, Mother, Curious Mind Don’t call her Chatty Kathy, though her family doesn’t hesitate. (AND she talks with her hands as well!) This Konenkii woman has overcome breast cancer, divorce, and the pain of losing parents; found happiness with a single daughter, loving and handsome replacement husband, and fun-to-be-with siblings and friends. She has survived the career roller-coaster with downsizing and internet bubble bursts and magazine shutdowns; she cherishes her longstanding friends and creative colleagues from AFI to Discovery to a private girls’ school and a string of travel magazines. She looks forward to sharing your discoveries, joys, and challenges, be it a great New Yorker article, annoying experience, or raging discussion with a neighbor or buddy.

Kathy H. Ely
Konenkii Ambassador
Writer, Editor, Wife, Mother, Curious Mind

Don’t call her Chatty Kathy, though her family doesn’t hesitate. (AND she talks with her hands as well!) This Konenkii woman has overcome breast cancer, divorce, and the pain of losing parents; found happiness with a single daughter, loving and handsome replacement husband, and fun-to-be-with siblings and friends. She has survived the career roller-coaster with downsizing and internet bubble bursts and magazine shutdowns; she cherishes her longstanding friends and creative colleagues from AFI to Discovery to a private girls’ school and a string of travel magazines.

She looks forward to sharing your discoveries, joys, and challenges, be it a great New Yorker article, annoying experience, or raging discussion with a neighbor or buddy.